Though its nothing new and no surprise that it has been depression that is ripping my life apart for the past 15 years or even more. I have shrunk somehow to be below mediocre. Compromised on self esteem, ambition and even my dreams. Kind of run out of fuel.
And in the midst of all this, am thrown, by circumstances into a new harsh world. I am losing my self here completely. Trying to pick shards of my dreams to recreate them. Put them back in place and generally trying to cope. However the speed is not enough. Time running out. Panic!
And then gloom sets in. Painting everything around in various shades of grey. The spots that are bright show a dull rusty hue. It is like being operated upon while still conscious. Seeing the world, the time and the opportunity slip by and I not being able to dress up for the occasion. Such helplessness.
Time for some introspection and action.
Some priorities
Health, both mental and physical
Financial stability
And in the midst of all this, am thrown, by circumstances into a new harsh world. I am losing my self here completely. Trying to pick shards of my dreams to recreate them. Put them back in place and generally trying to cope. However the speed is not enough. Time running out. Panic!
And then gloom sets in. Painting everything around in various shades of grey. The spots that are bright show a dull rusty hue. It is like being operated upon while still conscious. Seeing the world, the time and the opportunity slip by and I not being able to dress up for the occasion. Such helplessness.
Time for some introspection and action.
Some priorities
Health, both mental and physical
Financial stability
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